She Held On
by irismay42
Summary: If you don't send Kyle, you can never be." Oneshot. Complete.


**Characters:** Sarah, John  
**Rating:** PG  
**Words:** 688  
**Summary:** "If you don't send Kyle, you can never be."  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing Terminator or Sarah Connor Chronicles related. Hope you're happy, Cameron.  
**A/N:** So how did this happen? Aside from a brief foray into Reaper crossover land, I've only ever written Supernatural fan fiction. Until now that is. So this is what happens when you buy the SCC DVD boxset and mainline for a couple of days.

**SHE HELD ON**

She held on.

Through time. Through destiny. Through fate.

If she could just hold on, she wouldn't lose him.

Like she'd lost everything else.

Like she'd lost everyone else.

If she could just hold on he would stay with her.

She could keep him, she could save him.

From time. From destiny. From fate.

Fingers clinging to the softness of his shirt; hold on, hold on.

The warmth of him. The scent of him. The _realness_ of him.

Fingers in his hair.

Solid. Here. Hers.

Real.

If she could just hold on.

Through time. Through destiny. Through fate.

Clinging to him as the world, time, history changed around them.

The world shifting beneath their feet.

Time like sand through their fingers.

Like a dark highway stretching out at night before them.

Arms wrapped around him, never let him go.

Pushing the hair from his wide eyes, fingers tracing the sweep of his cheekbone, feeling the softness of his skin, the warmth of his breath on her neck.

The realness of him.

He looked at her and she wondered how long he'd known.

Since he asked her to change the future for him?

"_Please Mom…"_

Before that? Longer than she had?

A willing sacrifice on the altar of a utilitarian ideal: The greatest good for the greatest number. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

"_Or the one…"_

He'd grinned at her. Quoted _Star Trek_ at her. As he resigned himself to his destiny, to time, to fate.

_No fate but that which we make for ourselves._

Had that ever been true for him?

Save the future, save mankind.

That was the only fate he had, no matter what they did.

Leader of the battered remnants of humanity, down but not out, fighting the machines with everything they had.

_Hold on, hold on._

That could be his future.

In a broken world where survival was the only goal.

That could be his future.

Or this.

The victim of his own success.

But if she just held on, time, destiny, fate had to let her keep him.

Even as the world shifted.

Cameron had already disappeared to nothing, erased from the past, a cyborg nightmare that never now existed as the embryonic ashes of Skynet blew away into a sky so blue it hurt her eyes.

They had succeeded.

She had kept her word.

"_Please, Mom…"_

She'd changed the future for him.

And if she just held on…

But even as she watched, the pool of blood Derek Reese had left behind him began to disappear. As if it had never existed, as if _he_ had never existed. Would exist. The warrior from the future injured in the battle to save the past, to save the world, to save humanity, to save his brother from a fate he did not choose.

A fate his son did not choose.

The world, destiny, time and fate chose for him.

Kyle Reese had been saved.

The world had been saved.

Humanity, the future, time had been saved.

Judgment Day would never come.

The Terminator would never come.

Kyle Reese would never come.

And everything would be saved but his son.

_If you don't send Kyle, you can never be._

But if she just held on she could save him.

From time, from destiny, from fate.

"It's okay, Mom," he said quietly, smiling softly. "You saved me. Just like you promised."

She touched his hair, his cheek, his lips. Felt his smile beneath her fingers. His eyes bright with unshed tears.

She'd saved the future and mankind.

But had she really saved her son?

She felt something shift inside her.

Felt something shift around her.

Saw his smile begin to fade.

Felt his touch begin to fade.

Felt her memory begin to fade.

_No._

If she just held on she could keep him, save him, _remember him._

"I love you, Mom."

If she just held on.

"Remember me."

And she would.

Always.

Always in her thoughts, in her memories. In her heart.

If she just held on she'd never lose him.

If she just held on.

She just held on.

She held on.

**The End**

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So there you go! Feedback always appreciated. Be gentle SCC fans!


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